Nothingness

I find some comfort now in the thought of nothingness. The idea that the after death would be better if there was something is kind of ridiculous when you really think about it. Many religious people don't seem to worry much about the life before this one. I do. I feel there was nothing before my birth, else birth would not make sense.

Nature might be cruel to give us consciousness and take it away from us at death yet that would be giving to nature malign intentions whereas nature is only a set of laws, a bundle of principles, nature itself has no consciousness.

Notice I did mention after death, rather than after life. There is a moment of death following life, an infinitively small moment where we stop being, a terrible moment of anxiety for most dying. Thinking about it makes me uneasy. Nevertheless, I don't want to be a coward that will believe into anything to calm me down. So there is after life death, that moment you stop thinking, that moment you stop to be, that moment you will know it is over that nothing exist anymore.

This made me think that anything that existed before me and anything that existed after me is not real. Only what exists now is real. The past we cannot visit anymore so it can only be a fragment of our imagination, not much better than a tale. Despite all the evidences and the truth we find in these evidences, anything that has existed before me can only be visited through my imagination. We can see the big bang explosion but not the first man or woman who utter a sound that turned out to be a word.

When I will die the universe will stop existing, this will be my own personal Armageddon.

Therefore, the meaning of life lies between the beginning of my life and its end. The soul emerge out of nothingness and disappear in nothingness.